


Several People are Typing

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst (a little), Awesome Charlie Bradbury, Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Dorks, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel is Older Than Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury & Sam Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury Ships Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Comfortably Bisexual Dean Winchester, Crack, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Dean Winchester is So Whipped, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Everyone Ships Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gabriel & Dean Winchester Friendship, Gabriel is Older Than Sam Winchester, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Jessica Moore/Charlie Bradbury, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Past Ruby/Sam Winchester, Sam and Dean are brothers, Social Media, Texting, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, but still, enjoy, everyone is ooc, i guess not as many as i thought, mentions of the one (1) Winchester brain cell, no labels applied to anyone's sexualities, no one is straight, oh i forgot one past relationship, past Charlie Bradbury/Anna Milton, slight angst, so many past ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21286910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: [iwishiwasamoose]hey dean why don't you go suck castiel's dick so you can hop off mine?[bennysontennyson]sam winchester is fucking iconic[ttttttt-trickster]he really is[lesbiankween]^^^^^[babyinatrenchcoat]i do not know what 'hop off mine' means but i would not be opposed to having dean winchester suck my dick[imbatman]I JUST CHOKED[iwishiwasamoose]on Cas' cum?
Relationships: Castiel & Gabriel, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Everyone & Castiel, Everyone & Charlie Bradbury, Gabriel & Dean Winchester, Gabriel & Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 37
Kudos: 278





	Several People are Typing

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote 6.2k words of UTTER CRACK in under a day. I'm either an icon or a really, really sad person.
> 
> Enjoy this absolute bullshit.

**_kings of the goddamn world  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 04:17_

**[imbatman] **mornin Sammy

**[iwishiwasamoose] **dude its like 4:15

**[imbatman]** I know I’m aboutta go to bed

**[iwishiwasamoose] **dude wtf  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **what were you doing all night

**[imbatman] **homework  
**[imbatman] **and texting

**[iwishiwasamoose] **who?

**[imbatman] **castiel novak

**[iwishiwasamoose] **dean he’s my best friend too you don’t have to add his last name every time

**[imbatman] **whatever

**[iwishiwasamoose] **also you’re gonna fuckin regret that in the morning

**[imbatman]** Sammy  
**[imbatman] **Sam  
**[imbatman] **baby brother  
**[imbatman] **I haven’t made a decision I don’t regret since I was 11

**_tol and smol  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 11:11_

**[iwishiwasamoose] **hey Cas is your younger brother yes?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **yes he is, thank you for stating the obvious

**[iwishiwasamoose]** can you help me get him to bone my brother?  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** cause their UST is driving me fucking insane

**[ttttttt-trickster] **ohemgee fucking _same _  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **my darling baby bro won’t stfu about him

**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay so you’ll help me?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **no question sweetheart

**[iwishiwasamoose] **okay but we’re doing away with the pet names  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **that shit ain’t happening

**_The Galactic Novakian Empire  
_Members:  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 11:19_

**[ttttttt-trickster] **gUYS  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **saM wincHESTER jUST TExTed ME  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **fOr the FIrsT tIMe iN LiKE twO mONThS

**[ginger-spice] **my sweetheart! (heart-eyes emoji)  
**[ginger-spice] **keep us updated

**[babyinatrenchcoat] **^^^

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbainkween]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 15:22_

_iwishiwasamoose named the chat le squad quad_

**[imbatman] **sammy what the fuck

**[iwishiwasamoose] **i must recommend that you don’t ask

**[imbatman] **why the hell are you like this

**[iwishiwasamoose]** hey dean why don't you go suck castiel's dick so you can hop off mine?

**[bennysontennyson]** sam winchester is fucking iconic

**[ttttttt-trickster]** he really is

**[lesbiankween]** ^^^^^

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** i do not know what 'hop off mine' means but i would not be opposed to having dean winchester suck my dick

**[imbatman]** I JUST CHOKED

**[iwishiwasamoose]** on Cas' cum?

**[imbatman] **I hate you bitch

**[iwishiwasamoose] **(blush emoji) I love you too jerk! <3

**[ginger-spice] **are they always like this?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **yes

**[lesbiankween] **yes

**[babyinatrenchcoat] **yes

**[bobbiwantstoknow] **yea

**[bennysontennyson] **absolutely

**[iwishiwasamoose] **100%

**[imbatman] **yeh pretty much

**[ginger-spice] **good to know

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 15:28_

_ttttttt-trickster named the chat privy to SamGabe chatting_

**[ttttttt-trickster] **yeah so we’re basically plotting to get Dean and Cassie to bone

**[ginger-spice]** oh thank fucking god  
**[ginger-spice] **that needs to happen they’re such oblivious idiots

**[mcmike]** i really like that winchester kid  
**[mcmike] **i wouldn’t mind Castiel finally getting laid for the first time in years

**[ginger-spice]** yeah, i know rite  
**[ginger-spice] **he deserves it

**[ttttttt-trickster] **amen to that, sister

**_le squad quad  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

**[lesbiankween]** um… Dean?

**[imbatman]** yo

**[lesbiankween]** your brother is getting mugged by three chicks

**[imbatman] **wHAT

**[lesbiankween] **yeah there’s this girl with a dirty-blonde pixie cut, pretty but evil-looking brunette, and this other chick I know named Lillith from like, the third grade  
**[lesbiankween]** don’t know Pixie Cut or Evil Eyes, but I’ll tell ya that Lilith is one heartless stone-cold _bitch_

**[imbatman]** BITCH IM ABOUTTA THROW HANDS  
**[imbatman]** MEG AND RUBY BOUTTA GET IT  
**[imbatman]** I SWEAR TO LDGFKSAJFS

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** I took his phone away

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** why are you with him??@?!//

**[babyinatrenchcoat] **he bought me bubble tea

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** this is valid and acceptable

**[babyinatrenchcoat] **brb Dean and I are going to go beat the shit out of these bitches

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Thursday Feb 16 – 19:40_

_ttttttt-trickster named the chat The Sam Winchester Protection Club_

**[imbatman]** you beat me to it

**[ttttttt-trickster]** yeah well guess what idjit?  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **i have the hots for your brother so yeah  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **i want to protect him

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** Dean is fuming. he is just staring at his phone and his face is bright red i think you struck a chord

**[ttttttt-trickster] **good

**[ginger-spice] **okay arguing in this chat is highly counterproductive  
**[ginger-spice]** this was created for Samoosekavitch Winchester so if y’all wanna throw down do it in DMs

**[ttttttt-trickster]** …

**[imbatman]** …

**[ginger-spice] **thank you  
**[ginger-spice]** now that we’ve handled that, we’re going to report Meg Masters, Lilith Démon (pretentious-ass bitch with a pretentious-ass name), and Ruby Boyfriend-Stealing-Bitch, right?

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** absolutely  
**[bobbiwantstoknow] **also I’m over Sam, Anna. I’m not salty about Ruby stealing him from me anymore and tbph I think Sam should-  
**[bobbiwantstoknow] **on that note… y’all relevants meet me in the other chat

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]**

_Thursday 16 – 19:51_

_bobbiwantstoknow named the chat Sabriel Shippers United_

**[imbatman]** really Jess?  
**[imbatman]** ‘Sabriel’?

**[lesbiankween]** well i mean you could, if you’d like, hear the portmanteau for you and the person we all ship you with…  
**[lesbiankween]** oh, and there’s also ‘Denny’ and ‘Bean’, both of which are horrible names for the same ship ^-^

**[imbatman]** …  
**[imbatman] **i retract my question  
**[imbatman] **I am now mentally scarred and in desperate need of brain bleach

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** wait who do we all ship Dean with??????  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** why am I not kept up-to-date on Dean’s fictional love life????

**[imbatman]** ouch man  
**[imbatman] **that’s colder’n hell

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** believe what you will, Winchester, but Hell is full of fire

**[imbatman] **oh no, Cas, you got that all backwards. Hell is cold. know how I know? _cause I fucking live there_  
**[imbatman] **hell is comparable to the inside of my brain

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** Dean… the inside of your brain… is just… more brain????

**[ginger-spice]** gentlemen, could the two of you please continue this _fascinating _(note the sarcasm) and _highly _enlightening scientific and philosophical debate in your private messages? we are here on the far more pressing matter of SAM AND GABRIEL AND SEXUAL TENSION MUCH??!?/?!1?/

**[imbatman]** ok bye

_imbatman left the chat_

_babyinatrenchcoat added imbatman to the chat_

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** if I have to care about our brothers and the sexual intercourse they’re not having with each other, then so do you

_Thursday Feb 16 – 20:28_

**[imbatman]** well mark me down as scared and horny  
**[imbatman]** I could hear you growling that at your phone from the other room  
**[imbatman] **also sorry for the delay I threw my phone at a wall and it woudn’t turn on

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** okay fuckit this concludes this week’s SSU meeting

**[ginger-spice]** baiiiii bitches

**_The Sam Winchester Protection Club  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 08:43_

**[ttttttt-trickster] **kay I just emailed admin  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **so they’d better get fucking suspended

**[lesbiankween]** atta boy!

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** it’s right there in the school’s policy; ‘we have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, harassment, or intimidation, and we will not allow violence to occur on our campus’  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** that checks the harassment, intimidation, and violence boxes, and that’s worth at least a week suspension

**[imbatman]** thanks Gabe

**[ttttttt-trickster] **did Cassie make you say that?

**[imbatman]** NO!

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** yes I did

**[imbatman]** _CAASS!_

**_the most antagonistic bromance in history  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 09:01_

**[imbatman]** dude I ain’t actually mad that you want to bang Sammy  
**[imbatman]** but if I have to hear about it (or hear _it_)  
**[imbatman]** trust me I will be

**[ttttttt-trickster] **man I know  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **and i wouldn’t be opposed to you getting the d from my little brother either

**[imbatman]** why does everybody think I like Cas?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **because you spend every waking second with him. because you stare at him all the time and it’s not even eyesex, it’s more like eye spooning after several hours of intense eyesex.  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **also because i have video footage on my phone of you saying to the camera that you’re in love with him

**[imbatman]** <https://tenor.com/view/john-mulaney-robot-test-proof-prove-gif-11992798>

**[ttttttt-trickster] **{attachment: deanlovescassie.vid}

**[imbatman]** what the actual hell…

**[ttttttt-trickster] **you were drunk

**[imbatman]** this explains so much

**[ttttttt-trickster] **yeah. i bet.

**_tol and smol  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 09:19_

**[ttttttt-trickster] **i just sent Dean the video

**[iwishiwasamoose] ***gasp* THE DREADED VIDEO  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** i thought you deleted that????

**[ttttttt-trickster] **NUPE SAMMO MAH BOY  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **IT MAKES FOR BLACKMAIL OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER

**[iwishiwasamoose]** of course you’d think of that  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** so how’d he respond?

**[ttttttt-trickster]** {attachment: screenshot13.jpg}

**[iwishiwasamoose]** pfFT honestly same Dean  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** whenever I don’t have an explanation for why Dean’s acting the way he is i usually assume the answer is alcohol

**_The Sam Winchester Protection Club  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 11:32_

_ginger-spice named the chat The Sam Winchester Protection (and physique admiration) Club_

**[ginger-spice] **HOW IN THE FUCK  
**[ginger-spice]** DOES SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER  
**[ginger-spice]** HAVE A GRINDR ACCOUNT  
**[ginger-spice]** AND NO SHIRTLESS PICS??????

**[imbatman]** you’re on grindr?

**[ginger-spice]** yes i need hot girls to pick up

**[lesbiankween]** wow i’m fucking offended

**[ginger-spice]** char we tried that in the sixth grade  
**[ginger-spice]** it did not end well

**[lesbiankween]** OH YEAH WE DID  
**[lesbiankween]** holy fuck i forgot about that

**[ginger-spice]** anyway  
**[ginger-spice]** legit every basic white boy _ever_ has a min. of 1 shirtless pic on his grindr  
**[ginger-spice]** like every single one i’ve ever seen

**[imbatman]** i have like twelve

**[ginger-spice] **and you are a basic white boy  
**[ginger-spice]** a very hot basic white boy, but a basic white boy nonetheless

**[imbatman]** wait  
**[imbatman]** im basic???

**[ttttttt-trickster] **tfw you didn’t realize you were basic for like… how old are you?

**[imbatman] **Gabe  
**[imbatman] **you were at my 28th birthday party  
**[imbatman] **literally three weeks ago

**[ttttttt-trickster] **bitch i was too busy staring at your brother’s ass  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **once they brought out the cake you were the farthest thing from my mind

**[imbatman] **yeah that tracks

**[ttttttt-trickster]** of course it does, you’ve met me

**[imbatman]** so back on topic can we please not talk about my baby brother being hot where i’d have to see it and bleach my eyes and brain and insides and probably kill myself/

**[ginger-spice] **honey you’re just gonna have to deal

_imbatman left the chat_

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** well guess we just lost our second most vehement Sam Winchester protector

**[ttttttt-trickster] **ehh fuck him y’all have me

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** you do not inspire much confidence in me, Gabriel

_babyinatrenchcoat added imbatman to the chat_

_imbatman named the chat The Sam Winchester Protection Club  
imbatman locked the chat name_

**[ginger-spice]** asshole

**[imbatman]** bite me

_Friday Feb 17 – 12:11_

**[imbatman]** did you just drive all the way over to my house in your brother’s pimpmobile just to literally bite me  
**[imbatman]** also FUCKING OW

**[ttttttt-trickster]** aldgjfghasodghfg

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** it appears that my brother has lost the cognitive capability to draw air into his lungs

**[ttttttt-trickster] **SDFGFHAGADFGGJ

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** he is laughing so hard

**_tol and smol  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 13:47_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** {attachment: screenshot14.jpg}

**[iwishiwasamoose] **FLDJSFLSKDF  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **why did no one ever tell me Anna thinks I’m hot?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **i think a more pertinent question would be ‘is there anyone on the face of the planet who’s ever seen you who _doesn’t_???????’  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **i shit you not _Charlie _has said you’re hot before  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **and as we all know she’s one of the gayest gays to ever gay  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **also please never tell him i told you this but Dean also thinks ur hot

**[iwishiwasamoose] **aaaaaaand i’m done with this conversation

**_le squad quad  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Friday Feb 17 – 22:11_

**[iwishiwasamoose] **okay but in all seriousness:  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **FUCK LAW SCHOOL

**[imbatman] **that bad, huh?

**[babyinatrenchcoat] **I am assuming that you are sleep-deprived?  
**[babyinatrenchcoat] **again?

**[iwishiwasamoose]** yeah… (sob emoji)

**[ttttttt-trickster]** got a handy-dandy trick for ya Samster

**[iwishiwasamoose]** whats that

**[ttttttt-trickster] **don’t stay up until 3 in the morning

**[iwishiwasamoose]** very helpful, Gabe

**[ttttttt-trickster] **I love you too babe :3

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i seem to remember very clearly telling you to drop the pet names  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **{attachment: screenshot.jpg}

**[ttttttt-trickster] **nope. don’t remember. i see nothing. i have no idea what you’re talking about.  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **AND THE PET NAMES CONTINUE!!!

**[ginger-spice] **so did y’all figure your shit out then?

**[ttttttt-trickster] **what shit?

**[iwishiwasamoose] **what ‘shit’?

**[lesbiankween]** <strike>my god they’re so in love</strike> {deleted}  
**[lesbiankween] **<strike>they said the same thing at the same time</strike> {deleted}  
**[lesbiankween] **ignore her she’s tired

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i doubt she’s as tired as I am  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **I have stayed up until anywhere from 1-3am every night consistently for the last like week and a half (except the weekends)  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **i shall reiterate: fuck law school

**[lesbiankween] **poor bby doesn’t even have enough energy to put it in caps again

**[iwishiwasamoose] **FUCK LAW SCHOOL

**[lesbiankween]** i was wrong

**_le squad quad  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Saturday Feb 18 – 09:55_

**[imbatman] **GABE HELP I AM CONFUSION

**[ttttttt-trickster]** homicide

**[imbatman]** yeah exactly  
**[imbatman]** i just killed 4 people but there are only 3 corpses  
**[imbatman] **that doesn’t math right

**[iwishiwasamoose]** the other one isn’t dead look behind you

**[ttttttt-trickster]** the fourth isn’t entirely dead  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** torture it

**[imbatman]** i love how in-sync you guys are  
**[imbatman] **dfljdslgkfsjf YOU WERE RIGHT SHE WAS STILL ALIVE  
**[imbatman]** SHE JUST ATTACKED ME FUCK NOW THERE’S AN ARROW IN MY NECK  
**[imbatman] **oh by the way I’m playing Skyrim  
**[imbatman]** i’m not an actual murderer

**[ttttttt-trickster]** cute and debatable, but go off

**_le squad quad  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Saturday Feb 18 – 11:15_

_lesbiankween named the chat WE ALL GAY HERE (and Bessica)_

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** the fuck is bessica

**[bennysontennyson]** i second

**[lesbiankween]** it’s y’all  
**[lesbiankween] **cause y’all are the only straights

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** yeah, im about as straight as your rainbow slinky  
**[bobbiwantstoknow]** do you not remember making out with me at sophomore homecoming?

**[bennysontennyson]** and hello??? I dated D-for-Douchebag Winchester for at least a year

**[lesbiankween]** o.0

_lesbiankween named the chat WE ALL GAY HERE_

**[imbatman]** i am personally offended by that nickname  
**[imbatman] **cmon benny i thought we were friends

**[bennysontennyson]** do you remember how our relationship ended?  
**[bennysontennyson]** with you telling me to fuck off and never contact you again  
**[bennysontennyson]** and you only remembered how to care when you thought i was dead  
**[bennysontennyson]** i’ve earned the right to call you a douchebad  
**[bennysontennyson]** *douchebag

**[imbatman]** oh. yeah  
**[imbatman]** but… bygones, right?

_Saturday Feb 18 – 13:13_

**[bennysontennyson] **yeah man i forgave you for that shit the first time you apologized

**[imbatman]** oh thank god

**[bennysontennyson]** also i only waited two hours to answer because i love torturing you

**[imbatman]** (sob emoji)

**_bitty baby boi  
_Members:  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** Castiel, when do i get to meet your boyfriend

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** i don’t have a boyfriend, Jack

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** uncle Gabe said you do

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** goddammit gabriel  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** look theres a guy i like but i don’t think he likes me and i wont push it

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** who wouldn’t like you?  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky] **if he doesn’t like you he’s an idiot

**_Idjits  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Bobby Singer [RobertS]**

_Saturday Feb 18 – 14:56_

**[RobertS] **you boys are comin’ over for spring break, right?

**[iwishiwasamoose]** of course we are, bobby  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** even if i have to handcuff dean to the ohshit bar and hijack the impala

**[imbatman]** DO NOT DO THAT SAMMY  
**[imbatman]** of course we are

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 11:23_

_babyinatrenchcoat added blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky to the chat_

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** jack i love you please dont make me regret this

**[imbatman]** <strike>who the fuck</strike> {deleted by babyinatrenchcoat}  
**[imbatman]** cas you can delete my messages????

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** yes i can because i am amazing  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** this is Jack he is my son he is a baby do not swear around him

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** i know all the words castiel  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** i am not a baby

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** yes you are and dean _WILL _refrain from cussing  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** or he will hear it from me  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** (rage emoji)

**[imbatman] **the ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff  
**[imbatman] **you have a son  
**[imbatman] ***you have a SON?????????

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** not biologically  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** but his dad doesnt really care about him and his mom is in no position to take care of him so i took him in and he is mine now

**[iwishiwasamoose]** thats adorable (aww emoji)

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** Sam i am not adorable  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** I AM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** see i have the angel of the lord role which is why i can delete deans messages

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 11:37_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky] **hello Sam im Jack

**[iwishiwasamoose] **hi jack  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** how do you know my name?

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** castiel has told me about you  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky] **a lot  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** he idolizes you a little bit  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** but don’t tell him i said that

**[iwishiwasamoose]** (aww emoji)  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** legit crying rn  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** i won’t i promise

_iwishiwasamoose named the chat Moose and Co._

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky] **how did you do that????

**[iwishiwasamoose]** in the chat settings

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** oh thanks

_blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky named the chat Moose and Nougat_

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 12:21_

_imbatman named the chat hello child?_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** hi dean

_imbatman named the chat i cant send messages help_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky] **why not?

_imbatman named the chat you think i know????_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** no i don’t  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** can i help?

_imbatman named the chat how much do you know about tech_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** very little

_imbatman named the chat then probably not_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** oh okay

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 13:11_

_imbatman named the chat GUYS HELP ME_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** dean whats the issue

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** for some reason he can’t send messages

_imbatman named the chat I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** and apparently i am incapable of helping him

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** DEAN DI DYOU TEL LMY SO NHE WASU SELESS????

_imbatman named the chat NO OF COURSE NOT  
imbatman named the chat HOW COULD I-  
imbatman named the chat oh shit i did  
imbatman named the chat sorry Jack_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** you are forgiven

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** not by me!

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** castiel  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** don’t worry about it  
**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** dean is okay

_imbatman named the chat thank you jack  
imbatman named the chat i am also ur dad now  
imbatman named the chat JACC IS MY SON MUST PROTECC_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** ^-^

**[iwishiwasamoose]** this is fucking glorious

**_New Chat  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 17:47_

_imbatman named the chat Cas Is Next_

**[imbatman]** hey i figured it out

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** how?

**[imbatman]** had to shut down my phone  
**[imbatman]** and update to the lastest ios  
**[imbatman]** and then it worked

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** cool!

**[iwishiwasamoose]** so that chat name is a little ominous  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** cas is next for what?

**[imbatman]** his birthday is next week  
**[imbatman]** and i need help planning his party/presents

**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay dude youre highkey overthinking it  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** i know cause were sitting in the same room and youre doing the shit you do when you have anxiety/overthinking stuff

**[imbatman]** flkjsdlfksd NO IM NOT

**[iwishiwasamoose]** YOU ARE PACING AROUND THE ROOM RUNNING YOUR HANDS THROUGH YOUR HAIR AND MUTTERING CAS’ NAME OVER AND OVER  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** AND STARING AT YOUR PHONE HELPLESSLY  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** YOU ARE OVERTHINKING IT

**[imbatman]** jesus chill on the caps Sammy  
**[imbatman]** fine then what do you think i should do

**[ttttttt-trickster]** ASK  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** HIM  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** OUT

**[iwishiwasamoose]** ON A DATE

**[ttttttt-trickster]** ITS ALL HE WANTS

**[iwishiwasamoose]** ITS ALL HE WANTS

**[ttttttt-trickster]** high five Samburger

**[iwishiwasamoose]** fuck yeah *high fives you*

**[imbatman]** NO HE DOESN’T  
**[imbatman]** cas doesnt feel that way about me

**[lesbiankween]** oh you poor naïve boy  
**[lesbiankween]** _literally everyone else_ can see the way he looks at you  
**[lesbiankween]** you are the center of his universe! just kiss him and get it over with

**[imbatman]** well okay even if he does he shouldnt  
**[imbatman]** there are about 600 better people than me  
**[imbatman]** im a complete fuckup  
**[imbatman]** <strike>honestly he and sammy would be a better couple if sammy werent hopelessly in love with Gabe</strike> {deleted by iwishiwasamoose}

**[ttttttt-trickster]** uh-

**_kings of the goddamn world  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 18:03_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay you’re a fucking jerk and you’re about to catch hell for that

**[imbatman]** bring it on bitch

**_Cas Is Next  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]**

_Sunday Feb 19 – 18:10_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** honestly dean eat my ass

**[ginger-spice]** SAM (clap emoji) WINCHESTER (clap emoji) IS (clap emoji) A (clap emoji) GODDAMN (clap emoji) ICON (clap emoji)

**[ttttttt-trickster]** LEGIT THO

**[lesbiankween]** we stan a queen

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** what does ‘we stan a queen’ mean?

**[lesbiankween]** ‘we stan’ means we’re huge-ass borderline-obsessive fans and ‘a queen’ is just a term of endearment for someone super awesome, usually a woman or a queer guy

**[iwishiwasamoose]** o.0  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** i am extremely uncomfortable  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** doesnt we stan come from that Eminem song about that guy named stan who was so fucking obsessed that he drives his car into a river with his pregnant girlfriend locked in the trunk?????????

**[imbatman]** holy shit that is disturbing

**[lesbiankween]** yeah but none of us are _that _messed up

**[imbatman]** i came out here to have a good time and i am honestly feeling so attacked rn  
**[imbatman]** …  
**[imbatman]** so anyway does anyone have ideas for what i can do for cas that dont involve having feelings or being vulnerable, aka two things that i suck at

**[lesbiankween]** hoe you aint gotta be vulnerable to ask a hot guy on a date

**[imbatman]** what do you know about hot guys  
**[imbatman]** youre gay as hell

**[lesbiankween]** I ALSO HAVE EYES  
**[lesbiankween]** AND I HAVE MET YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND BEFORE  
**[lesbiankween]** SPOILER ALERT: HES FUCKING HOT

**[imbatman]** bitch he ain’t my future husband

**[iwishiwasamoose]** yeah and its all because you’re an idiot who doesnt know how to flirt with dudes  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** you know he isn’t going to make the first move  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** he barely has enough social skills to be friends with you in the first place

**[ttttttt-trickster]** and god knows being friends with you is draining enough  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** i pity the poor bastard once they finally get it on

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i hear that

**[imbatman]** IF I ASK HIM OUT AND LET HIM REJECT ME WILL Y’ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT

**[lesbiankween]** he wont reject you just wait

**[ginger-spice]** and i speak for everyone when i say yes we will

**_JACC IS MY SON MUST PROTECC  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Monday Feb 20 – 00:13_

_imbatman named the chat WE ALL GAY HERE_

**[imbatman]** yes im still awake at midnight  
**[imbatman]** dlkfjdfsd I just failed at signing in here’s your daily dose of blackmail material  
**[imbatman]** {attachment: screenshot49.jpg}

**[iwishiwasamoose]** hoLY FUCK I CANT BREATHE  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** IM LAUGHING SO DAMN HARD

**[ttttttt-trickster]** Username: imbathman  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** BATHMAN  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** (laugh-cry emoji)

_ttttttt-trickster changed imbatman’s name to imbathman_

**[imbathman]** you know i hate you right

**[ttttttt-trickster]** ive spent all seven years of our friendship trying to make it so

**[imbathman]** good  
**[imbathman]** because im about to come to your house and whoop your fucking ass

**[ttttttt-trickster]** HEY DEAN WHY DON’T YOU GO SUCK MY BROTHERS DICK SO YOU CAN HOP OFF MINE #noregrets

**[imbathman]** eat me

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** under the assumption that this is still about me, in reference to what Sam said on Thursday  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** once again i wouldnt mind dean sucking my dick  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** however i cant imagine that there are very many people who _would_ mind

**[imbathman]** CAS WHAT THE HELL  
**[imbathman]** I DID A FUCKING SPIT TAKE  
**[imbathman]** THERE IS COFFEE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER NOW  
**[imbathman]** also im getting night terrors from my nickname

_imbathman changed their name to imbatman_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** (sad emoji) why did you have to ruin my fun?

**[imbatman]** because that’s my job (winky emoji)

**_The Galactic Novakian Empire  
_Members:  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]**

_Monday Feb 20 – 5:33_

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** do you know if dean is going to get me anything for my birthday?

**[ginger-spice]** honey, he’s gonna give you everything

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** to quote my best friend, ‘what the fuck does that mean???’

**[ttttttt-trickster]** it means you’ll find out okay?

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** i would like for it to be known that I am very terrified now

**[mcmike]** okay wait a sec

**_privy to SamGabe chatting  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]**

_Monday Feb 20 – 5:40_

**[mcmike]** whats Dean getting Cas for his birthday??/?

**[ttttttt-trickster]** oh i forgot ur not in that chat  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** we pretty much annoyed dean into agreeing to ask him out

**[mcmike]** o.0

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Monday Feb 20 – 15:32_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** CARTY IN MY WSYWARF SIOOOOOOON  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **THWRELL BE PEAXE WHEN U R DOOOOONEEEREE  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **LAU UR WEARY HEAD TOO REST  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** DONCHU CRT NO MOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEE

**[imbatman]** i-  
**[imbatman]** what the hell am i looking at

**[ttttttt-trickster]** if i wasn’t intimately acquainted with that song i would have no idea what you were saying

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** sam are you alright

**[iwishiwasamoose]** asbolurely not! (smiley emoji)  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** im luke syyuuuuuper high rn

**[imbatman]** SAMMY THE FUCK DID YOU SMOKE

**[iwishiwasamoose] **wred  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **at leasr u thonk it was weed  
**[iwishiwasamoose] ***O  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** ***_I_

**[imbatman]** oh so hes sober enough to catch exactly one typo  
**[imbatman]** awesome

**[iwishiwasamoose]** idk i was bored  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** and iver never gotten do to the fin collrge stiff

**[imbatman]** where are you im gonna come get you and take you home

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i gave no idra

**[lesbiankween]** he’s at a Dave and Buster’s

_lesbiankween pinned a location_

**[imbatman]** how do you know?

**[lesbiankween]** we went to dave and busters together and got separated so we turned on find my friends  
**[lesbiankween]** ironically, that D&B

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i likr thus placr

**[imbatman]** sammy, shut up  
**[imbatman]** i’m getting in the impala rn don’t go anywhere

**[ttttttt-trickster]** wait Charlie did you just quote B99?????

**[lesbiankween]** i most certainly did  
**[lesbiankween]** but also it’s true

**[iwishiwasamoose]** ONCR I EOSE ABOVE THE NOUSE ANS CONFUSIPN  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** JIST TO GET A GLIMPDE BEYOND THID ILLUSION  
**[iwishiwasamoose] **I WAS SOATING EVER HIFHER  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** BIT I FLEW TPO HIGH

**[imbatman]** _sammy i said shut the fuck up_

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** hey castiel what happened to ‘nobody can swear around jack’?

**_Raise Me From Perdition  
_Members:  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]**

_Monday Feb 20 – 22:04_

**[imbatman]** hey cas, im gonna come get you from your house around 8pm tomorrow is that chill?

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** for what purpose?

**[imbatman]** can’t tell you rn  
**[imbatman]** can you just… trust me?

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** Dean, i always trust you

**[imbatman]** amazing. i’ll see you at 8

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Tuesday Feb 21 – 09:42_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay what the hell is wrong with me

**[imbatman] **been askin’ myself that question since the day you were born, kid  
**[imbatman]** but what is it this time?

**[iwishiwasamoose]** i just went back and read the chat history from yesterday and…  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** _yikes_

**[imbatman]** oh yeah you wanna hear the rest of the story

**[iwishiwasamoose]** *cringe* no

**[ttttttt-trickster]** yes!!!

**[imbatman]** gabe’s vote outrules yours sammy you’re the bitch who got yourself into this mess

**[iwishiwasamoose]** fine just get it over with you big fucking jerk

**[imbatman]** so i get to D&B right, and i start looking for Sammy  
**[imbatman]** and eventually i find him, and he’s playing guitar hero (why i’ll never know, we _own_ that game. if he wants to play it he can do it at home) and as soon as i tap him on the shoulder he turns, he sees me, his pupils are fucking TINY and he freaks out, drops the guitar which lands on my foot, fails the song, and like sprints away from me  
**[imbatman]** and then i found him again playing that biking game with the actual bikes and somehow he was really good at it  
**[imbatman]** when i dragged him out of the building he was crying about a bear

_iwishiwasamoose left the chat_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** holy SHIT  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** well now Sam knows

_ttttttt-trickster added iwishiwasamoose to the chat_

**[imbatman]** where’d you get the weed anyway?

**[iwishiwasamoose]** some bald guy named like, Don Price or someshit

**[imbatman]** *facepalm*  
**[imbatman]** SAMMY YOU KNOW THE RULES  
**[imbatman]** you _never _take a joint from a guy named Don, and there are no dogs in the car!

**[iwishiwasamoose]** so lemme guess; im disowned again

**[imbatman]** damn right you are

**[lesbiankween]** wait _AGAIN???_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** he does this whenever i do something dumb  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** he’ll tell me i’m disowned and then i’ll just be disowned until he gets bored not having anyone to talk to and un-disowns me

**[lesbiankween] **wow  
**[lesbiankween]** the two of you are idiots

**[imbatman]** you’re overestimating us

**[iwishiwasamoose]** ^^^  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** we are in possession of approximately one brain cell that we share between us so together we make up almost one whole idiot  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** there is no second idiot

**[ttttttt-trickster]** well at least they’re self-aware

**_Birthday Chat  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Tuesday Feb 21 – 11:37_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASSIE!!!

**[iwishiwasamoose]** happy birthday, man!

**[imbatman]** hApPy BiRtHdAy CaS!!

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** happy bday ^-^

**[blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]** happy birthday, Castiel

**[bennysontennyson]** i dunno you that well but you seem chill, happy birthday

**[lesbiankween]** happy birthday dude

**[mcmike]** happiest of days to you, my brother

**[ginger-spice]** happy day <3

**[babyinatrenhcoat]** thank you all

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 06:30_

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** okay storytime  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** so yesterday Dean came and got me from my house at 8pm on the dot wearing literally the nicest clothes ive ever seen him in including a tie and he was acting like super nervous

**[imbatman]** oh fml of course he’s gonna recount it

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** they deserve to know Dean  
**[babyinatrenchcoat] **so he drives me to this fancy restaurant and im assuming its gonna be some kind of big birthday party thing only then he goes up to the front and says he made a reservation for Winchester, party of two, so like… i guess it’s just us???  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** and then the hostess leads us to our table and Dean sits down and we kinda just talk for a little bit until we order and then Dean shifts really uncomfortably and he says the following:  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** ‘so, uh… I basically got dared to do this, they, uh, they told me they’d stop bothering me if I did it… uh… so like look, Cas, uh, I really like you, and uh, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a really long time, like a _ridiculously _long time. I’m just uh, hoping you don’t reject me because I, uh, don’t actually have anything else planned for this, so… uh… I guess what I’m asking is do you want to go out with me sometime? Like… on a date, like besides tonight?’

**[imbatman]** i did not say ‘uh’ that many times

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** you absolutely did say ‘uh’ that many times, Dean. you were so awkward and adorable I was recording you under the table, this is an exact transcript of my audio clip

**[iwishiwasamoose]** THIS IS A PSA: CASTIEL NOVAK IS AN ICON AND WE BOW TO HIM NOW

**[ttttttt-trickster]** a wholesome mood™

**[lesbiankween]** amen to that

**[ginger-spice]** you go big brother!

**[bobbiwantstoknow]** the gospel truth

**[bennysontennyson]** legit tho

**[iwishiwasamoose]** the most important question tho is what did you say back???

**[imbatman]** he said ‘you’re a damn idiot’ and kissed me across the table  
**[imbatman]** and then i played footsie with him through the entire meal just to watch him blush

**[lesbiankween]** THIS SHIP HAS JUST SAILED FROM DESTIEL CENTRAL! NEXT STOP, SABRIEL STATION

**[imbatman]** i think stations are for trains, Red

**[lesbiankween]** *eyeroll* jesus i’ll spell it out for you  
**[lesbiankween]** Operation Destiel was a success. onto Project Sabriel, AKA let’s make these dumbasses admit their feelings because they’re so fucking obtuse they’re never going to do it by themselves

**[iwishiwasamoose]** blow me, Charlie

**[lesbiankween]** eww no thank you I don’t want anything to do with your dick  
**[lesbiankween]** or anyone’s dicks, ever  
**[lesbiankween]** note to all dicks: stay away from me forever plz and thank you

**_tol and smol  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 09:15_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** hey does it make you uncomfortable? all that shit about ‘Sabriel’??

**[ttttttt-trickster]** nah, not really. i know it’d never happen, so…

**[iwishiwasamoose]** why do you think that?

**[ttttttt-trickster]** hello??? you’re awesome  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **and im Gabriel Novak, who cant hold down a committed relationship to save his life  
**[ttttttt-trickster]** if it did happen, it would be purely sex, because im like that, and you deserve better than purely sex

**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay for one thing, that’s so not true. ive seen you in real relationships before, like with Kali. i know you can do it

**[ttttttt-trickster]** my relationship with Kali was so fucking toxic and unhealthy-

**[iwishiwasamoose]** oh, yeah, i know that  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** but it doesn’t matter because you were committed to her, which is my point  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** and for another thing, who says i deserve better than purely sex? you?  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** last i checked you don’t get to decide that stuff for me. last i checked i was my own person who can make my own choices. last i checked i was a 24-year-old man who can deal with this kind of stuff, thank you very much. if you consented and i consented it wouldn’t really matter that much to me, we’re both legal  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** and also, you don’t get to say that you cant be with me because youre afraid you’ll break my heart. yeah, i know you, i know that’s your next argument. i. don’t. care. okay? if falling in love with you is a mistake, it’s a mistake that’s mine to make, and honestly? that ship sailed a VERY VERY LONG TIME AGO  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** so give me one _good _reason ‘it would never happen’ or… y’know. let’s make it happen

**_privy to SamGabe chatting  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 10:00_

_ttttttt-trickster added babyinatrenchcoat to the chat_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** {attachment: screenshot19.jpg}  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO

**[ginger-spice]** how about say “great awesome I’m in love with you too let’s go make out behind the bleachers”?

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** perhaps not those exact words, but something to the effect of ‘I am also interested in a romantic relationship with you’  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** you have no idea how many times Sam has come to Dean and I and ranted about you for a couple of hours and then just gone offline  
**[babyinatrenchcoat]** he is, as Dean would say, absolutely whipped for you

**[ttttttt-trickster]** fucking fuck

**_tol and smol  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 12:11_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** yes

**[iwishiwasamoose]** yes what?

**[ttttttt-trickster]** yes i love you and I want to be around you forever

**[iwishiwasamoose]** oh  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** okay  
**[iwishiwasamoose]** i think i can swing that, let me check my schedule

**_privy to SamGabe chatting  
_Members:  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Michael Novak [mcmike]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 12:16_

**[ttttttt-trickster]** {attachment: screenshot20.jpg}  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **I;M SCREAMING

**_WE ALL GAY HERE  
_Members:  
Sam Winchester [iwishiwasamoose]  
Gabriel Novak [ttttttt-trickster]  
Dean Winchester [imbatman]  
Castiel Novak [babyinatrenchcoat]  
Anna Novak [ginger-spice]  
Benny Lafitte [bennysontennyson]  
Jessica Moore [bobbiwantstoknow]  
Charlie Bradbury [lesbiankween]  
Jack Kline [blowthatpieceofjunkoutofthesky]**

_Wednesday Feb 22 – 17:49_

**[iwishiwasamoose]** just dropped a wrench on my hand fuck me

**[ttttttt-trickster]** I think i can make that happen  
**[ttttttt-trickster] **meet me in your bedroom with condoms and lube ;-)

**[iwishiwasamoose]** im in way over my head

**[lesbiankween]** o.0  
**[lesbiankween]** GUYS IT WORKED  
**[lesbiankween]** IT HAPPENED  
**[lesbiankween]** ITSDFLKD GJOGESGGJO W

**[babyinatrenchcoat]** i took her phone away

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is but I refuse to apologize. It made me so happy xD
> 
> Who got what Jess' username was a reference to?
> 
> Love,  
-Fake Dean


End file.
